weekly

Weekly is the frequency of blogging that would make me feel like I was at least keeping up. The truth is, though I'm insanely busy right now, my life just isn't that exciting. At least, not currently.

Last weekend Meems and I finally had our birthday outing, postponed since early January. We went to the Portland Art Museum to see an exhibit called The Quest For Immorality, supposedly the largest group of Egyptian artifacts ever to tour North America. It was nice, but not quite what I was hoping. For one thing, there was only one mummy.

But hangin' with Meems this weekend was great. She works nights as a 911 dispatcher, so we never see her. The Chick Posse has been sadly lacking in Meemsieness.

Except for a few hours at the museum, it was a nice, chill weekend. I really seem to need those since I took this promotion. I'm already thinking about my next vacation (hopefully in October) I'm thinking Spain, but I'm dying to do the Beijing - Moscow Trans-Mongolian Railway. I just need to talk some people into going with me.

That's a different post.

saintly

Happy Valentine's Day!

I got this pretty little picture from jben. Since he is in Australia, his was the first valentine I received this year. What a way to start the day, eh?

You can read more about the saint behind the holiday right here.

strange

I woke this morning from a deep sleep, the alarm screaming at me from across the room, busting into a bizarre dream. It's the first night since I moved into this apartment that I haven't had my sleep interrupted at approximately 3:15am by the neighbour's music, and I really really wanted to keep on sleeping.

Life's been a little confusing lately. Nothing really pans out like we think it will, and even when we try not to create an expectation it still forms, in defiance of our efforts. I've had an idea of what my life would look like right now, and it doesn't look that way at all. That's not necessarily a bad thing. It's just different.

My dream this morning was, as I said, bizarre. It was my wedding day. I'm not one of those chicks that sits around thinking about getting married, so that in itself was a little strange. I was going to marry someone that in real life is a friend of a friend, and he's actually married in real life. He's not even my type - even if he was single. Anyway, it was my wedding day, and I was hanging out with a bunch of guys, including the groom-to-be, and I was feeling very unsure that going through with the wedding was a good idea. We barely knew each other, and we weren't in love. I was afraid to bring it up, but afraid not to.

One of the guys we were hanging out with was my friend Mike that died in '96. It was odd because he was aged as he would be if he were still alive...a bit of gray, a little heavier. I tried to talk to him, but it just wasn't happening since all the other guys were around. He just told me he thought it was great that I was getting married, and not to get too nervous.

As I sat there trying to figure out what to do I got an email from a friend in the UK on my blackberry (I don't actually have a blackberry) telling me that he wouldn't be a true friend if he didn't tell me that he had a really bad feeling about my marrying this guy, and to please reconsider. And then my alarm went off.

I woke up flustered, with a feeling of dread lingering. Strange how much a dream will effect you. As I thought about it today I thought it odd that I was the only girl in the dream. It was also strangely sad to think of Mike, and what he'd be up to today. I don't know that there's a deep meaning to this dream, but the way it stuck with me today I almost wonder...

Coming back from my trip has been intense. Aside from jet lag and being re-infected with the office cold (which I'm nearly over), work has been incredibly busy. It's a strange feeling to be keeping up. I've never had a job that was so demanding, but that I was able to hold my own in the midst of it. I still really like my job and love my downtown apartment. I still enjoy my church and my community. But being away from that on my trip as I was scouting out how to live out the dreams and passions God has burned in my heart felt so different. It isn't the 'safe' life, but it's the life I wish I was already living.

I'm finding it both easier and harder to wait, as part of me settles in and part of me gets more and more stir-crazy for these dreams in my heart. It's not happening the way I expected, but I'm sure when I look back I'll be grateful for that. I'm waiting as actively and purposefully as I know how, but I'm still waiting...something I'm not so good at. Maybe my dream was about that; walking away from what looked to be what I wanted because in my heart of hearts I knew it was a counterfeit destiny. It's hard to part with what you thought you wanted with no back-up dream.

travelogue

I don't really know where to start...

It's been so long since I've properly blogged that I really have to just pick one thing to write about. So I'll write about my trip.

It was a rather nice trip, with the first ten days of the seventeen spent mostly in the Scottish Highlands with my mother. We were at a rather nice timeshare on Loch Rannoch, about a mile from the town of Kinloch Rannoch, and a 40 minute drive (over very small and windy roads) from Pitlochry in Perthshire. It rained cats and dogs the first few days, we had a day of sunshine and then it snowed.

There were actually crazy storms going on all over the island, but we did alright. We did some shopping, a bit of walking and lots of chillin'. We watched quite alot of television, as is was dark by about 4:15 every day. But tv in another country is not the same, so it was fun. And when we could get out, as you can see from the pictures, the scenery was amazing.



Mom went home the day after my birthday (the evening of which was spent with good friends Pete & Shirley in Reading) and I headed back to Scotland to hang with my Edinburgh peeps. It was so great to catch up with the Browns and adorable baby Zac (who we prayed would be born a good year-and-a-half before he arrived!), to see Chris, Anneleen, Emily and the YWAMmers (who let me invade their living space). It was beautiful to be back in Edinburgh and to wander about with more familiarity then ever before. I fell completely in love with the Museum of Scotland, and spent my last two available tourist hours on the 'prehistory' floor. Of course I have to go back to hit the other six floors. The rooftop garden was amazing (Chris, you were sooooo right!), and I got up there just as the sun was casting it's amber glow over all the rooftops of old town and the castle. Incredible!

From there I headed south to see my London Chick Posse. I have to say I enjoy them more every time I see them. It was really fun too, to have Pete, Shirley and Janelle meet up with me and then come along while I met up with Shenaaz and Shahid, friends I'd made while in the Galapagos last September. It amazes me how small the world really is.

It's strange that was just a week ago. How could I have been so far away and re-entered my normal life so quickly? What a crazy age we live in. I hate that such important people in my life are so far away. Funny how I consider Pete and the girls to be such a part of my community, but they live five thousand miles away. How does that work? I don't know, but it sure does get harder every time to say goodbye to them when I have to come home.

Okay, I'm done. I've rambled enough. I'll post more pictures soon. These ones are a bit grainy and blotchy. Must be because I moved them betewen computers with my mp3 player. I think it dumbed down the pixles. I'll fix it later.