transportation

So now that I've moved into the house I'm on public transportation, and therefore given much more opportunity for bizarre bus-stop conversation. This past weekend was one of the strangest - and most amusing, I might add - bus stop conversations I've had since I began taking public transportation at the age of 7. Here's how it went down...

I'm waiting for the bus and I get a call from my friend Kathleen and she offers to pick me up and give me a ride home since she's out running errands anyway. I'm happy with that so I agree to stay at the bus stop until she can meet me there. Just after that a man gets off the bus with a baseball cap and half-smoked cigarette stub in one hand and a can of Milwaukee's Best in the other (Milwaukee, is that really your best?). It was clear he was somewhat inebriated and he wandered over to a girl who was talking loudly on her cell phone about personal stuff (love that one) and asked her for a light, which she promptly gave him before wandering away.

So here's a 40 to 45 year-old, slightly inebriated man with nobody to talk to but me while we wait. He decided to begin our dialogue by walking to the corner of the bus shelter (I was fortunately not sitting on the bench under that shelter) and announcing he hopes I don't mind if he takes a quick pee. I was super tired from our 31-hour return drive the day before from Kansas City and I was a bit less 'filtered' than I usually am about these things, so the conversation went like this -

Him (over his shoulder): "I hope you don't mind - I just need to pee real quick."
Me: "Oh no! Dude...you CANNOT pee there right in front of me! You need to hold it."
Him (again, over his shoulder): "But I gotta! I can't wait!"
Me: "Dude, that's disgusting. I can't believe you're just going to pee right there! Where's the respect?"
Him: "I got respect, I just have to pee. I can't help it."
Me: "Then I'm going to walk down here. I don't need to look at that."
Him (finishing up with a big sigh. Ewww!): "I got respect. Don't be mad at me." At this point he came over to where I was standing.
Me (putting my hands in the air and taking a step back): "I'm not mad but I am NOT shaking your hand! Not after that!"
Him (in a pleading tone): "I promise I won't try to shake your hand. Just don't be mad at me. Do you like black men?"
Me: "What?! Um...I guess. If I like a guy I don't really care if he's black, white or purple if he's got high standards for himself"
Him: "So you got a boyfriend?"
Me: "Nope"
Him: "Really? You don't got a boyfriend? Why not?"
Me: "My standards are too high"

At this point he outstretched his hands as if to indicate himself as an option to end my singleness.

Me: "I'm sorry Dude - I don't date guys that pee at bus stops"
Him: "What? I don't usually (again, pleading) I just hadta go. I promise I'll never pee at another bus stop again"
Me: "It's too late. I already saw you and I just can't bring myself to date someone who peed at the bus stop"
Him "But you're hot. (Why do only drunk men tell me that?) I promise I won't do it again. I had my back to you. At least I didn't whip out the snake in front of you"

The snake? Disgusting man. It was all I could do to keep from laughing out loud. I was starting to wonder if I was really having this conversation or if I was on some hidden camera show.

Me: "And I thank you for that. It would've made an inappropriate situation even MORE inappropriate"
Him: "Seriously, why can't I have your number? I need a girlfriend"
Me: "Well then you'll have to stop peeing at bus stops. Girls don't like that"
Him: "But I had to go! What would you do if you had to go?"
Me (in a slightly offended and very adamant tone): "I wouldn't pee at the bus stop! My momma raised me right!"

Then Kathleen called to see where I was because she drove past the bus stop and didn't see me. I answered the phone and he started talking to me...
Him: "Oh...you don't got a boyfriend, eh? (with a big knowing grin and nod toward my phone) That's your boyfriend!"
Me (finishing my call): "No, that's my friend. She's giving me a ride. I told you I don't have a boyfriend"
Him: "Ohhhh....SHE. I see!"
Me: "Yes, she. SHE is my RIDE"

That's when Kathleen pulled up. I turned to say goodbye to him and give him some parting advice...
Me: "Have a good night. Don't pee at anymore bus stops. Remember, girls don't like that"

Gotta love public transportation.

ages

As in "I haven't posted anything in ages".

I've been super busy at work until about two weeks ago when I left for vacation in London. It was so nice to be there and to spend time with so many people that are so near and dear to my heart. (that's such a cheesy phrase and I'm just jet-lagged enough to use it!) I saw Pete and Shirley, my childhood friend Pam (I grew up with her but we lost touch six or seven years ago, but it turns out she moved to London about 2 years ago and now when I visit I can see her too.), the incredibly beautiful Adele and the Steeles who I've known about 25 years and just moved to London a little over a year ago. And of course, my friend Janelle who is the initial reason I decided to go back to a seventh trip to London this vacation instead of Spain (which is where I've been trying to go 'next' for about 2 years now).

My first weekend there was spend with Pete and Shirley and was so nice. We ate loads of really great food, drank many a nice drink and did nice local things. We even squeezed in a half (and very rainy) day in Bath. After leaving Pete & Shirls I went into London and stayed a week with Janelle and her family and spent many late nights chatting with her and Angela, her sister. I truly feel as though I'm the third daughter in their family. I love spending time with them and the whole family takes such good care of me when I'm there. I was able to see the whole clan because Janelle and Angela's brother and sister-in-law had their baby dedication the weekend before I went home and the whole clan was there. It was really nice.

In spite of it taking over 25 hours to go from London doorstep to my apartment doorstep (good ol' American Airlines, eh?) I'm surviving the jet lag at two days back, and made it through my first day back, 1600+ emails and a two-hour meeting with reasonable sanity.

The highlights...

♥ Catching up with old friends
♥ Pub time with Pete & Shirley
♥ Running into Lorraine purely by happy accident
♥ Finally going to Bath and with people that like taking pix as much as I do
♥ Sipping cider while Pete stooped to fit into the little room in the pub
♥ Catching up with the girls - Shirley, Janelle, Angela, Adele, Sandy & Pamela
♥ Tea and girl-time at Fortnum & Mason
♥ Eating my way through central London with Pamela
♥ Shopping with Janelle
♥ Finally getting to the Victoria & Albert Museum and the Tate Modern
♥ Finding presents to take back to people at home

There's much more I could add, but I'll just wrap up this jet-lagged post with a few more pix.