found
portland is one of the least churched cities in america. people actually move here to get away from the bible belt and social christianity that is a part of the culture in some parts of the country. in general the people in this city have very antagonistic views of christianity. many of the reasons i can't argue with, but some are just lack of understanding, confusing all religion (most commonly catholicism) with christianity. it doesn't help that there are people screaming scriptures at them in pioneer square, telling them they are an abomination (which is nowhere in the bible, by the way). it has no relationship with the God that says He loves us so much He's written our name upon His heart, and that His thoughts toward us are good and not evil, to give us a future and hope.
i'm very cautious of what i say in my workplace about my faith. my biggest fear is that i will be seen as one of the self-righteous, distancing myself from 'those sinners'. because it's a professional environment i don't really bring up my faith at all. if a moment presents itself i don't ignore it, but it honestly doesn't come up that much, being work and all. well, not until lately.
when i started training into the latin american booking line i moved desks. one of the other trainees moved next to me. she was hired when i was and we went through our initial training together in february of last year. she's really cool and alot of fun to sit by. i was showing her the way the background pictures i pulled from camvista's site refreshed every time the page loaded on my blog. i just had it up for a second but she got the address and checked out my blog. it was a bit scary for me because i was afraid she would get freaked out by my God and prayer talk, but instead it sparked a great conversation and i was able to give a general overview of what i believe. i don't think she was uncomfortable with it, and she told me a bit about her catholic upbringing.
today there's a post from another friend from work. he's quite the internet geek...which i think is awesome. he's also a word-nerd, another reason he has my respect. i don't know his wife very well yet (she's also a co-worker) but they're both just really cool people. so when he found my blog and posted on it today i had that little panic flutter again. silly but true. my relationship with God is so much a part of who i am that it's odd to be at work and people not know what makes me tick. it's sad to know that if they did know many would lose respect for me (that's assuming they had it in the first place :-)) i've heard some pretty disrespectful things said in the breakroom about christians, but i don't want to be afraid to be honest about who and what i am. i just don't want to be misunderstood because of what people have experienced with self-righteous and judgmental 'christianity'.
though it makes me feel a bit naked i honestly am glad they both found my blog. i hope they'll ask me questions if they don't know where i'm coming from with something. my biggest fear is being misunderstood. i never want to be afraid to be up-front about my faith, and i never want anyone to feel like i'm shoving it down their throat.
if you two are reading this, welcome to my blog and the rest of my life. i hope you'll make yourself at home.
2 comments:
life turns strange so quickly, doesn't it? my prayers are with you.
I understand what you are saying here Sheena. I feel the same kind of obligation to not perpetuate the stereotypical image of a religious kook who wants everyone to follow Jesus "or else". These are interesting times we live in where every weakness and fault of the church is being magnified. We are found wanting and our accusers have confused sincere followers of Christ who do not shove religion down people's throats with those who are hard core, like the Pioneer Square prophets of doom. My desire is to manifest the reality of what God is like, to be an ambassodor of the kingdom of God, which, I believe, is a kingdom of love and humility. So I'm careful, too, at how I react to unfavorable remarks about "the religious right". Just recently I participated in a focus group about politics and several of the people their totally ripped into "the conservative religious right wing".
I wanted to defend "the rest of us" but felt instead to be quiet and hear what they were saying. I did not reveal my beliefs, it wasn't necessary in the situation, but rather I listened. It was disheartening. This makes me ask God even more, What is the church supposed to look like? I know we aren't meant to be defined by the world, but it seems even the world can see we are weak and riddled with flaws. I need renewed vision from the Lord for what He intends for His bride, how does He view her, even in all her weakness? I do not want to join the accusing voices within the church, or outside, who rage at her every mis-step. I honestly ask God often about these things.
Post a Comment