venting
i'm frustrated and i can't sleep. i've been tossing and turning and finally gave up and decided to blog. it may be the only way to get my brain to be quiet so i can get some shut-eye tonight.
one of my good friends is making some really bad choices in her life right now. she does this periodically. it's a bit of a roller-coaster sometimes being her friend, and in the decade i've known her we've been up and down alot. the hardest part is watching her lie to everyone, including herself, when we all know she's not being honest with anyone - especially herself. i love her, and i'll never stop being her friend, but it's really getting old watching her make choices that will cause her pain and regret far into the future, and having to endure her defensive in-your-face-about-it stubbornness.
as i was laying in bed i couldn't get the story of cinderella out of my mind. not the cheesy disney version, but the intense and gory grimm brothers' version. when the prince shows up with the slipper to see who it fits, encouraged by their mother they each cut off part of their foot to get it into the shoe. their mother tells both of them that they won't need that part of their foot when they're married to the prince, so each in turn takes the paring knife to their own foot in hopes of tricking the prince into matrimony. each time some birds along the way sing a little rhyme that makes the prince look back, and each time he sees a trail of blood. silly sucker, you think he'd figure it out after the first one.
like the stepsisters, my friend is making a choice that will cause her long-term suffering in order to make something in her life 'fit' that she shouldn't be putting on in the first place. maybe by chopping off a toe she can get the shoe on, but just because you can make it look like it's working doesn't mean it is. just because you tell yourself something false is true doesn't make it any less a lie.
why is it always so hard for her to facing this when we've already been down this road and we know where it leads? why, after years of walking through these things with her, years of proving our love for her, that we're there for her, care about her and are willing to walk beside her as she works through the fear and pain of life, is she choosing to act as if we don't have her best interest at heart, don't care about her and don't want her to be happy? obstinate headstrong stubborn choices always cost us more in the end than we thought we'd be paying. it's never worth it. never. i pray she remembers that.
3 comments:
Dearest Sheena; I read only yesterday your wisdom about eating the elephant one bite at a time. My first thought was "that is so great! If she would only remember that most folks are working on their elephant, too!"
I am very sorry about your friend. She sounds needy.
Sending best love - mum
I know what you mean. It is awful to watch other people make bad decisions that will cause them pain and you pain because you can't do anything to stop them.
Thing is I know what it's like to be on the other side and be making the bad decisions... Sometimes I feel I must be so thick to be learning the same lesson over again because I have sent myself there AGAIN. But God never gives up on us and I know He won't on this friend. Hang in there. She will pull through. Some people are determined to learn the hard way. As a wise friend of mine says, "if you don't hear, you'll feel."
some people are quite adept at creating their own weather systems. some how the energy(drama) of the storms makes them feel alive even though its very tumultuous. it's really cyclic. but, it is just wind. it's sad, it's wasteful, and even hurtful. you on the other hand have to stay anchored. not that you tether her to earth, but you keep speaking the truth even if she doesn't listen. sometimes its not to even speak. it is hard to watch. grace, grace, grace!
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