super

Isn't it interesting how life is always super something? Super-busy, super-fun, super-stressful...it never seems to just be. This week work was (as it has been lately) super-crazy, so I took a super-break and pulled a vacation day on Friday. I can tell you that even after a 3-day weekend, I'm not super-ready to head back tomorrow.

This past week I gave myself a couple of commitments to keep. I decided I needed to spend more time with Jesus, so I made myself turn off the TV an hour or so earlier than I have been, and hang out with God. It was nice, pretty uneventful, but still good. On the first night I started talking to Him about how I find myself occasionally slammed with suddenly feeling really really insecure with people I know really well. It's very odd, and doesn't happen that much, but when it does I'm always dazed and wondering where it came from. I told God that we really should get to the bottom of it.Be careful what you pray for.

My nice, chill weekend suddenly had situation come up that threw me directly into feeling very insecure, self-protective and a little psycho. The psycho came from trying to talk it out, and my attempts at communication frustrating myself and the person with whom I was trying to communicate. Of course, things are resolved - as I knew they would be, but now the issue is on the surface and I have to let God show me how to walk out dealing with it.

Needless to say, I cried alot the last couple days. (It makes me not ever want to get married. I'm sure I'd make a horrible, irrational, no-good-at-expressing-myself-off-the-cuff disaster of trying to work things out when there was a disagreement.) Even thought I'm taking healthy steps to change my perceptions to more closely reflect reality, I feel a bit baggage-y - not my favorite feeling. But if feeling messed up for a few days while I look at things means this will be dealt with and I won't have to face it again, I guess it's worth it in the end.