woah

I'm officially feelin' it.

This weekend I started to feel how much I will miss everyone and it kind of makes me catch my breath. Portland has been home to me since 1983 when I was 8 years old. As much as I have longed to wander the globe, I've always known that Portland was a very special place that I love more than anywhere else on earth. Now that I'm only 7 days away from leaving I'm finding it every bit as hard as I suspected it would.

I never have been good with transition, at least not the part leading up to it. Once I turn the page, round the corner or whatever other analogy you want to use, I'm okay with whatever the new season brings. But getting to that point is not something I find myself able to do without anxiety, procrastination and a variety of coping mechanisms - not the least of which involves comfort food. I'm looking forward to getting back to more simple and healthy eating and a simplified life that I can't seem to manage here in the States.

Paring my belongings back to a few storage bins and a few suitcases is both sad and liberating. As was selling most of my beloved books to Powell's. I'm doing my best to be ruthless about what I get rid of, but I still get that little flutter around my heart sometimes and I just have to remind myself that it's really insignificant in the grand scheme of things. Compared to other people I really don't have that much stuff, but it's still a challenge to get it sorted and disposed of. I really hope I can get it down to a few bins that will easily store or ship. I didn't think it would be so hard.

And of course, I'm trying to see as many people as I can before I go. I've had people come out of the woodwork to be able to connect before I leave. I'm trying not to be all sad when I'm hanging out with people, so I imagine that when I get on the plane and buckle in I will finally have the space to get my good cry in. I'm figuring I'll produce a lovely fountain of tears which may not stop until I get to London. I already feel sorry for whoever sits next to me. I just try to keep laughing and having fun in the short time I have left with my peeps, and I'm working on creating as many photographic and video mementos as possible. Here's some of Jov's and my finest work from this weekend...