patience

tonight was DHOP. my friend kathleen joined us, as did my friend patrick, so there was a whopping four of us. we were praying for aaron's grandpa to know God and i suddenly felt so overwhelmed with the futility of our requests. i started thinking about some of the major life direction things i've been praying about since returning from the UK in august, things that until my trip were only concepts that for years i've longed and prayed for, but until then never saw how they could become reality.

as i thought about these things i also began thinking about some of the people in my life i've been asking God to bring to relationship with Him. the more that came to mind the more i could see the paradox of the futility of little human me asking God to move, and yet the hope and assurance i continue to hold that He will. i sat there crying before God telling Him i didn't understand how it all worked, and why He didn't just move, and wasn't He sick of hearing me ask the same things over and over. suddenly i felt completely at peace, and God said, "just wait 'til you see what I do!" in the way He does where you know He's smiling.

i'm not sure what's coming, but i think it'll be a clear answer to at least some of the things i've been really bugging Him about lately. the way He said it i think it'll be pretty good.