thoughts

i posted yesterday. it expressed everything exactly, but blogger was freaked out again and i lost it all. i've been a bit under the weather so that was a bit more irritating that it would normally be. oh well.

my sick day really was a sick day after all. i woke up feeling like a truck had run over me and didn't have it in me to go to work. by the time the afternoon rolled around and my throat and head began to ache i understood why i'd been so wiped out. my sister likes to point out how that if you're "pooped" and you're "wiped" it means the same thing.

so the friend drama. after much prayer and several days to consider things i've come to the conclusion that, aside from the feeling that i would like us all to really live for Christ, and being discouraged when we don't, i was upset because my little feelings were hurt. my friend told me she was not going to participate in certain activities, and then later that day she did anyway. which wouldn't have been so bad if she hadn't been intentionally sneaky about it.

growing up in the messy family i did means that sometimes i'm a bit over-sensitive when i feel lied to or manipulated. not that anyone relishes it, but maybe i react a bit more than someone else would. so the question God asked me was, "are you going to get up and trust her again?" funny that when i want something resolved God always asks me to resolve something in myself. (sigh) and forgive. always forgive.

darn it.

so now i have a dificult conversation ahead, but with a friend i love for a relationship that is worth doing the hard thing. true friends challenge eachother, support eachother, speak truth to eachother and always love eachother.

this love thing sure can be hard.