fresh

first off i want to say welcome and thank you to those of you who have come in for a visit and left a comment or two. i love interaction (be it what it may in blog format) and i think it's great that you all feel comfortable leaving comments. i've grown quite attached to blogging and it makes me happy to know someone else is enjoing it too.

so now back to me. ;-)

the headache thing is starting to worry me. this week i had a headache every day but yesterday, and i woke up with one today. they aren't just headaches, either. they're low-grade migranes, always on the right side of my head accompanied by nausia, sensitivity to light and slight puffiness on that side of my face. classic migrane simptoms, but not something i've had to deal with regularly until the last about 6 months of my life. my insurance changed this week so i couldn't make an appointment with the doctor until next week.

to be perfectly honest i felt deep down that it was more spiritual than physical. not to be cookey, but i've seen time and again that when people step out and push against the resistance of the enemy and get serious about making way for God to move and save and all that good stuff that the enemy tries to push back. i've been feeling this headache thing was that pushing back.

since i woke up with another of the same headaches i pretty much just chilled all day. i got ready for church and got there a bit late since i wasn't on the schedule for anything (that happens only about every 6 to 8 weeks) and by then my head hurt more and i was really frustrated and not into it at all. tonight was a special service, too. up til now our eldership has been two guys, larry and jack, from the pastoral team at city bible, the church we were sent out of. tonight one of the guys from our original church plant team of 6 years ago was set in as an elder. because of this there were lots of visitors, including jack and larry, who are old friends of mine since i grew up at that church.

after the service i ended up asking steve, my pastor to pray for me. he said sure, but maybe i should ask jack to pray for me. so i did. we talked for a few minutes and he and i came to a similar conclusion that this was an assignment to wear me down in this season that we're really pushing forward. i had to admit there has been some fear of retaliation in my heart, and maybe this was creating an open door for this. it was pretty cool though, once jack started praying because God really started talking to him and as he prayed the things he was saying were specifically things God has been talking to me about. it was direct confirmation, some of it with code phrases i've used jokingly with friends that he would have no way of knowing. it was amazing.

God's really been challenging me to step up to the plate and take my place in this city and in His body in this city. He's been challenging me not to let myself be intimidated or to sell myself short. He's also been working into my heart a confidence i've never known before about myself and the gifts He's given me. it's not something that makes me want to go get all public or anything, but just a quiet assurance that those giftings are there and that they are the tools God will use to work through my life. God said so much to me tonight that can never be taken away. i do hear God. i'm beginning to rest in that.

oh, and my headache is gone. it went away sometime while jack was praying and i don't think it'll be back. isn't God amazing!?