life

today i wore a light jacket as i walked to work. nothing feels quite like the first sunny days after a long and weary winter. just that little bit of sunshine makes the air seem more fragrant, people more friendly and life somehow just a little easier.

this has been such a strange winter. things in my life are going well, relationships are strong, i'm growing and reaching goals i was afraid to even set for myself not so very long ago. i love my job and i'm looking forward to my not-too-distant move to edinburgh. but as great as life is for me i find most of the people around me are facing some of the biggest challenges of their lives. where i should be on top of the world, instead i've spent the last six months helping friends carry the heaviest of burdens.

one friend who is like a brother to me has walked away from his marriage to one of my closest friends. he, along with several others, have walked away from God and from those of us that would walk with them as they faced the wounds that have justified these choices. several other friends have lost, or are losing people they love through death, while another friend has had to painfully disentangle herself from a very toxic dependent. but as i've been blessed enough to be able to stand with the ones left behind, wounded and devastated by other people's choices, i have learned more about relationship, commitment and prayerful community than i ever dreamed i'd walk out.

seasons come and go. whatever season we're in we need eachother. we need community. not a group of friends that is all the same, but independent people with a unified heart and focus that can support eachother in laying ahold of that which matters most to us all, and can spur eachother on to continuing love a good works. for years these friends have stood with me as i walked through some very dark things. now i have the honor of standing with them. i'm finding faith well up in some when others are too tired to hope. i'm seeing prayer spring out of people that were never before even comfortable with prayer. i'm watching beauty come from the ashes, as my friends offer their brokenness to God, and others are drawn to Him by watching the lives of my hurting friends. i'm seeing God answer prayers and build our faith in His ability to do more than we could even ask or think.

these last six months have shown me more of the provision of God than i've ever seen, both naturally and spiritually. His faithfulness continues to overwhelm me. i'm afraid to ask what comes next, but whatever it is i know that God will be revealed and it will be worth it in the end.

"Those who plant in tears will harvest with shouts of joy. They weep as they go to plant their seed, but they sing as they return with the harvest." Ps 126:5-6