pain

i never met jeremy's dad, but jeremy is one of my good friends. i went to his dad's funeral today. i wanted so badly to somehow show love and support to my friend. his dad only lived a few months after the pancreatic cancer diagnosis, so i think people there were still a bit stunned by it all. i saw the all-too-familiar expressions of grieving disbelief that this treasure was really gone from their lives. it brought back the ache that surrounded my heart after my best friend's son died three months after his brain tumor was diagnosed. strange how you don't forget pain. even when you've gone on it can be brought right back to your senses in just a moment of reminding.

when the bible talks about heaven it says that there will be no pain or sadness, and that God will wipe the tears from our eyes. my friend that lost her son was recently telling me about how God showed her that her son can't remember pain, and God allowed her to ask if her son remembered his tumor and the answer was that he remembered having it but didn't remember how it felt since God was carrying that part for him. when she told me that it got me thinking about what that meant on this side where we do still feel pain.

if God carries the pain of everyone in heaven forever He must also carry the pain of the loss of everyone that chose their own way instead of Him. the sobering thing is that He will carry that pain forever. it will always be a part of Him. God will always be grieving for all eternity so that we don't have to.

isaiah 53 says that He bore our grief and carried our sorrow at the cross. it says that the price of our peace was taken out on Him and His wounds purchased our healing. it doesn't mean that we don't have any pain in this life, but in romans 8 it says that the things we suffer in this life aren't even worth comparing to what He has for us on the other side. all the reward with no more ache. it seems all the passages i'm drawn to right now talk about endurance in suffering and not giving up. the end of isaiah 40, hebrews 10:32-39, and 11:36-12:14, revelation 12:10-11, all about endurance in the face of pain.

i have never been more aware of my need for God than in the last couple months. in my life, in my workplace, in my community and my friends' lives. we are pressed on all sides, but we can't stop. we must run to Him and find the strenght He gives or we will never make it. but what a mind-blowing thing to know what God feels and carries, even if it's just a glimpse. who better to run to and what better place to find comfort? amazing.