Thankful

This morning I had a big, ugly cry, but not because I was sad, mad or upset. It was pure thankfulness. This morning I booked a flight home to Portland, Oregon for a 3 week stay that will mean I am home for Thanksgiving.

You see, I have been living and working in England since March 2010 (although I first came as a volunteer for six months in 2009) and since moving here I have been back to see my family only once (in Aug 2011), and have not been home for the Thanksgiving or Christmas Holidays. Yeah, I'm nearly 40 and can handle being away like a big girl, but the truth is that I had never, ever been away from my family for the Holidays until I moved here. As much as I hate to admit it or give in to sadness or moping, It is never harder to be 5,000 miles away from my family than during the Holidays.

Every part of my going back for this visit is a gift from God. There is no way I could afford the $1,000 ticket on my own, but an unexpected $500 check for some writing I did about 15 years ago suddenly appeared just days after I'd done some intense, heart-pouring-out praying, asking God if He would make a way for me to be home for Thanksgiving. And then I waited and kept thanking God for providing my ticket, even before I had the other half of the money. 

I started to make a mental list of the things that I could do or buy while I'm home that I can't do/buy here and even put "haircut with Justin at Hickox Studio" (he's my amazing stylist back home) and then thought that might be a bit of a frivolous one. The truth is that I hadn't really even prayed about it, but my Father in Heaven loves me, and since I'm His favorite I guess He pays attention because a day or two later one of my best friends back home said that when I come to visit there will be a haircut waiting for me at Hickox. At this point I was still short half the money for my ticket, but God spoke through it to show me that even before the ticket was in hand He was (and is) taking care of my needs, and even some of my wants.

And then, about 6 weeks after the first half of the money for my ticket came in, I was in Dublin for 24-7 Prayer's global gathering and some of my good friends came to me with a heart-shaped post-it note that said "Sheena, we love you and we are giving you the $500 you need for the rest of your ticket". And I cried like a baby...loud, awkward, juicy, sobby, face-scrunched-up crying. It was one of those moments when you don't realize how much you want something and how careful you've been with your heart not to let yourself get too excited so you won't be devastated if it doesn't happen.

So today, when I booked the ticket and Heathrow airport shuttle and then saw the confirmations in my in-box I suddenly realized it was really, really happening and had a big cry. Thankful doesn't begin to describe how I'm feeling right now. To see my 87-year-old Grammy, my parents, sisters, brother-in-law, nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles, cousins, life-long friends and my home church family after 2½ years is an indescribably precious gift, the value of which is not lost on me.