reminders

today i climbed back down the ladder of inference i've spent most of my life climbing up. i decided (because i felt inept when it came to my new duties at work) that the travel agents that call and get me are irritated that it takes me so long to take care of their inquiries and bookings.

my nearly 30 years of deciding what was going on in someone else's head and basing my interaction on that assumption has caused alot more drama in my life than i care to admit. it was a long process to even recognize that i do that, let alone see the problems that arise from projecting motive on people. the past two years of my life have been devoted to the work of permitting God to show me what i allow to go on in my head, and being honest about the belief systems i've allowed to be built by thoughts and impressions that don't align with His word. (http://pdxsheena.blogspot.com/2004/10/sleepless.html) originally this was survival for the little girl that had no emotional saftey in a pretty messed up childhood. from survival mechanisms grow survival habits that linger long after we think we need them. in my head i determined what level of 'threat' each person posed to me, and based my interaction with everyone in my life on keeping one step ahead of that 'threat'. God has done an amazing thing in me these past two years in teaching me to trust those He's put in my life, and pay attention to the thoughts in my head.

so today, as i was fumbling my way through finding pricing and availabilty info for London theater tickets the week of christmas, i found myslef being thanked profusely by the travel agent on the line (who had sounded irritated the whole time- go figure) for being so informative and helpful. she went so far as to ask me if there was a way to get me again when she called back. in that moment the Lord reminded me to trust His favor and not to assume the worst...a reminder that will never be untimely.